It was pretty hot out this afternoon and I thought it would be a brilliant idea to forgo my blowdryer after my noon o'clock shower and go lay in the grass under a tree for a few minutes. I got about three minutes in when I heard the dreaded *clickclick*SHHHHH* of the sprinker system. I grabbed my towel and shoes and ran through the grass shrieking like a girl, then turned around and shook my fist at the sprinklers.
Since it's 102 degrees out, I walked around my building and dried in one lap, so I was able to appreciate the humor of the situation. Had it been February, I would not have been so forgiving.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Sprinkled
Labels: leisure
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Vacation
Hello! I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. I spent my Memorial Day in southern California with my sister, relaxing at the beach and catching up with some friends. Chanel didn’t want to leave Menudo at home since she is taking several medications right now and since she’s getting on in years we decided this would be a good chance to take her on a little retirement vacation. We stayed at the Costa Mesa Wyndham. It worked out very well because it was the only pet-friendly hotel I found that didn’t charge a non-refundable pet deposit, and it was only 6 miles from Newport Beach. The hotel was fairly nice and the rooms reasonably priced, but the location wasn’t within walking distance of anything and the hotel restaurant was very expensive. We were limited to driving whenever we wanted food but it we were right off the 405 and the 55 so it wasn’t much of a problem. I’d definitely recommend it to anyone traveling in Orange County with a pet. As I said, they don’t charge any deposits, there are many dog-walk areas and clean-up bag stations, and if you do decide to splurge on the restaurant you can make reservations to enjoy the breakfast buffet on the patio with your dog.
We spent most of the weekend around the Newport Pier. We rented bicycles on Saturday for just $5/hr and rode down the boardwalk to the end of the Balboa Peninsula and back, stopping to enjoy an $18, 36-oz margarita on the way back! Menudo came along for the ride in her Perro Pack and got in some sun and fresh sea air. We managed to take her out on the beach for a good 45 minutes before the beach rent-a-cops kicked her out. She was rather indignant, but wasn’t particularly upset to be away from the water, which was a bit chilly and wet for her taste.
Saturday night we joined our grandparents, who were also at the beach for the weekend, at Duke’s on Huntington Beach. I’ve had their lunches several times and I think they have the best calamari I’ve ever had. I’ve been in love with it since the first time I ate there around 2000. The dinner menu was a lot pricier though and even though I wasn’t paying for it, I still felt guilty and just got a bowl of clam chowder. It was delicious and there were free, endless sourdough bread rolls. My grandparents also had two coupons for Hula pie. The Hula pie is roughly a pound of vanilla ice cream on an Oreo crust, covered in chocolate fudge, whipped cream, and almond slivers. Yeah. I know. The five of us took down 2 slices, and it was glorious. There was some grasping of bellies, groaning, expressing a desire to go to the h
ospital and have our stomachs pumped, and early signs of Type II Diabetes. But it was worth it.
We made a pact to never eat carbs again, which was quickly forgotten the next morning at Newport Beach when we passed Seaside Donuts. We bought 2 croissants, 2 chocolate long johns, a dozen glazed donut holes (for later), and a tall latte for $7. We then enjoyed our delicious pastries on a bench at the end of the pier, staying wary of rogue seagulls who might try and relive us of our donuts.
After breakfast we braved traffic and drove to Los Angeles for a BBQ hosted by Slackmistress and Betheboy. It was lovely to see them again after a year and a half, and to finally meet Daisy Dog. They are both incredible hosts and I don’t think I was without food or a drink in my hand the entire time I was there. I still need to get Slack’s recipe for her awesome corn salad. I was also sent home with a couple of the Hot Blogger calendars, which have now joined a USA Character Project magazine clipping of Lenora Claire adorning the walls of my wee office cubicle.
Monday morning we headed back home after a second round of donuts on the pier. The trip back was fairly uneventful. We considered stopping at the Cabazon outlet mall for some shopping but the place was a zoo. I’d never seen it so crowded before. We had better luck finding parking at the beach. We stopped in Hadley’s date farm instead and I remembered why I didn’t buy anything the last time I was there- it is expensive as hell. So I tried a scoop of date ice cream for $3 and was content with that.
So the weekend was full of delightful weather, tasty carb-overload, and much-needed stress relief. Now it’s back to the desert, work, and the gym. Bleh. But I am very happy to say that I got the promotion at work after 9 months, I have FINALLY been hired on as a real employee, which means that I’m now entitled to a staggering THREE sick days and FIVE vacation days a year! Yeah it still sucks, but it’s the first time I’ve ever had paid time off so I’ll make due. I am open to suggestions about how to use the vacation days and where I should go next. Should you wish to sponsor me on your couch or sofa-bed, you know where to contact me.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Dear Old Mom
After an incident with my mother today that left me stranded on the side of Scottsdale road at 2pm in 105 degree heat, my mom wanted to express her feelings to me through the medium of angry text messages. I bring them directly to you:
u dre mot stranded u jumped out of the car bcuz i asked u 2 get over ur isrues wher iwith me. That is wat hagened that is the truth! This txt was from a bystander!
wel u sen it 2 me and since u and chanel hav both refered 2 me as a liar it must b true and that makes u a liar as well
Then she decided to get Chanel involved in the discussion:
champagne us making up dramb and got caught doing somthing i am constantly bing accused of LIEING! IM SICK OF THIS SHIT AND WILL NOT TOLERATE IT ANYMORE!
As you can see, my mother likes to talk out problems in a calm and rational manner. Oh and in case you were wondering what began this familial apocalypse, the conversation went something like this:
Me: We're taking Menudo to the beach with us next weekend.
Mom: What the fuck! I should have a say in this!
Me: No, she's Chanel's dog. This is none of your business
Mom: You know she'd rather be with me. She loves me more.
Me: She's a fucking DOG. And she's Chanel's dog. And Chanel wants to take her to the beach. I found a dog-friendly hotel where you can even take your dog to the breakfast buffet with you. It'll be fun.
Mom: She's my dog.
Me: No she is NOT. She's Chanel's dog. Before that she was MY dog.
Mom: She's my dog. You took her away from me.
Me: ...what in the hell are you talking about? We got Menudo 10 years ago because I always wanted a chihuahua. I even paid for her.
Mom: I stayed up with her all night when Chanel thought she was dying!
Me: That was ME! She came to my house and we sat up with her in my bed!!
Mom: Well... then I did it before that.
Me: This conversation is insane.
Mom: You know, I'm about done with you and Chanel. You two need to get over yourselves and stop being belligerant with me.
Me: I'd like to go home now please. I'm not doing this with you anymore.
Mom: No.
Me: I'll walk then.
So I got out of the car at a red light, walked until I found a bus stop, and went home. Now I'm wondering how to explain my sunburn to my date tonight. We've only been out once and I think the second date is a bit early for the "By the way, my family is batshit insane" conversation.
Labels: family, mom, serious_business, wtf
I applied for what might possibly be the greatest job in the entire world.
I'm almost afraid to talk about it because I don't want to jinx myself. But I'm just so excited because it's like this job was created just for me.
Please keep me in your thoughts/prayers/blood sacrifices for the next few weeks because I'm very much in need of some good luck.
Labels: serious_business, work
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Hello, World!
I should really be getting ready for bed right now, but I feel guilty about neglecting my blog for so long. On April 1st I was packing up for a brief trip to Ft. Worth when I discovered that my laptop wouldn't turn on. Fortunately I had purchased the extended warranty from Best Buy, so my mom offered to drop it off for me while I was out of town. What should have been a weekend repair job turned into a month-long hostage situation wherein Best Buy would not relinquish my computer, citing a backlog of other computers as their excuse. I didn't really mind that much about the wait. I kind of got used to not having a computer during the 4 months earlier in the year when I couldn't afford internet service. I just wish they had said from the get-go that it would take so long so I could have put my internet service on hold and saved myself a monthly bill for a service I couldn't use.
Anyways, the computer is back now. I've been pretty busy during the week so I haven't had time to blog lately. But hopefully I'll have some free time coming up soon. I've been up for a promotion at work for nearly a month now and due to various office drama my boss keeps putting off making her decision. Things were looking bad for awhile due to various bullshittery that I won't get into. But HR has gotten involved with the goings-on and things are starting to look up for me. Woo! I'm still not thrilled about the job but it's a bit of a pay raise so that will help me pay off my school debt a little quicker.
So for now I'm just biding my time and settle into reverse hibernation mode for the summer. This is the annual process in which I purchase bulk quantities of sun block, tack blankets over the windows, hole up in my apartment and pray that I get through another summer in the desert without succumbing to melanoma, heatstroke, or manic depression. Wish me luck, folks!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
update
Hello, Internet! Just dropping by to let you know I have not died. Not insofar as I can tell, at any rate. I've been working a lot lately and saving up money for an investment.
I'm not ready to blog about this investment yet but I'll give you a few examples of what it's not just for fun:
- pot
- an Easy Bake Oven
- a human skeleton (or any portion thereof)
- fancy hats
Labels: cashmoneybling, work
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Myspace knows I have Jungle Fever.
Lately I keep seeing a banner ad for Interracial Dating on myspace... And I was wondering how it KNOWS. I don't think it's mentioned anywhere in my profile "Interests: vegetarian cooking, bicycling, black cock". And yet somehow...
Labels: myspace
Sunday, March 01, 2009
My 2 cent: Arizona Renaissance Festival

I went to the annual Renaissance Festival yesterday and didn't get many pictures because the day went kind of poorly. The AZ RenFest is so bad it's good- as long as you're with fun people. Which we were not, so it lost a bit of it's magic this year.
We got stuck in traffic for 2 hours as the freeway was closed half the way there. When we got there, our coworker lost the stub of his ticket and was denied entrance. He was understandably upset, and swore under his breath as a woman walked past with an infant. When Coworker went out to the car and found his stub, they denied him entrance anyways for Disorderly Conduct... at a place where they sell Medieval weaponry and the employees have gross carnie sex orgies at sundown.
So there was some drama and foul tempers. Our other coworker and his girlfriend had to leave early so they took Coworker home.
Chanel, her friend Dragan and I spent most of the day together. It was unbearably hot, even for Arizona, for February. But we managed to salvage the rest of the afternoon. Chanel & I shared a medieval milkshake for our first meal of the day. We followed that with ye olde frozen cheesecake and bananas on sticks. What? It was HOT out!
Then we watched pretty girls with lots of cleavage belly dance, watched a guy blow glass and asked him all manner of questions like "Have you ever had any life-changing injuries involving a blowtorch?"; and saw the London Broil's hilarious juggling show.
All in all it was a decent way to kill a Saturday afternoon, but I don't think I'll be going back next year. I've been going since I was 16 and it kind of goes downhill more every year. I'm happy for the Royal Faires company that they're making enough money in this economy to turn away and completely alienate paying customers. But it doesn't really suit my needs as a consumer.
Labels: my 2 cent
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Some things.
I don't like talking about myself enough to do memes. But here are as many things as I can think of that are moderately interesting.
-I have a faulty tear duct. My left eye always waters just a little bit and I can also blow air or water out of it.
-Around 1989, my next-door neighbors won the Ghostmobile from the movie Ghostbusters II and let me and my sister play in it.
-I've met Mike Patton four times.
-My real first and middle name is Champagne Destiny
-my dad met my mom at a strip club where she was working in 1980
-I was a runway model in a Dillard's fashion show when I was 6.
-I hate peanuts but I love peanut butter.





