Dear Mr. Christ,
Despite some research, I’ve been unable to come to a conclusion on the following problem. I’ve heard of your work and thought perhaps you could give me your professional opinion: What is the morally correct way to let someone know he or she has bad breath?
I can be contacted via phone, US Mail, or burning bush.
Thank you for your time,
Pagne
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
A Letter to Jesus
at 7:06 PM
Labels: letter_to_jesus, serious_business
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3 comments:
Just hand me an Altoid already, jeesus.
Ask them if YOUR breath smells when you're alone with them in a room or elevator. Then when they say no, say "Oh good, it's not me." Then stare pointedly at them.
No? Okay. Then your breath smells! Whoops, I mean okay, then find one of those websites where they will send an anonymous e-mail to anyone saying that for you.
(My word verification is 'bytess')
You know, this is a completely random connection and it isn't as if I was trolling for awesomely cute, chunky bisexual, smart girls in Phoenix with porno mom's but...
I'd say just come out and say it. If it is for your convenience then tell hir about it. There is another possibility here, perhaps somewhere under it all you have one of those "Healer Psychic Moments" where something is telling you this ain't no ordinary halitosis.. many serious illnesses can be the causative factor for such malformed exhalations and you can couch your horror wrapped in some nice fuzzy compassion for their ailing liver! Barring that, there are these great lil mints called "Hint Mints" that come in a great sliding metal case (I use one for a wallet x 2 years now) and you can just leave it in the offenders pathway surreptitious like.... ps: my passcode is "milibomi" which conjures up a whole lotta porno imagery especially in the contect of your renaissance orgy post earlier...
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