When stardates align.

It's often said that things happen for a reason. I often say that is stupid. Today, however, I feel as though the forces of the universe had a plan for me.

I went with Chanel and Jesse to Skateland after work and immediately regreted it. Pre-immediately, in fact. Like, before we even got there. I've had a mysterioius, meandering illness for nigh on three weeks that's left me with mild, intermittent diziness; plus I made the unwise decision to drink 16oz of Vietnamesed* iced coffee right before going.

We got there and found out that two elementary schools were having some event, increasing the concentration of screaching, obese school children by several orders of magitude. With a heavy, anxiety-ridden heart, I donned my lightly-disinfected, suspiciously urine-scented, rented rollerblades. After trying and failing to get one of the shitty straps to tighten securely, I fell squarely on my ass in the attempt to descend one six-inch step. I exchanged them for a new pair, skated one lap, and then realized they'd just polished the rink that day. I simultaneously realized that the eraser-like break on my skate had been worn down to the nub. I'd had enough to declared "Fuck this bullshit!"*

As luck would have it, Skateland is less than a mile down the street from Bookman's. I borrowed Nelly's car keys, waded through the sea of bastards-on-wheels with a twichy, clenched fist, and made my escape.  My spirits were already lifted just walking around the lovely, quiet bookshelves, but the cosmic moneyshot to my day ocurred when I entered the knicknack section and the light settled upon this:

Stardate 230924.0504.43* Most of the time, a shitty evening is just a shitty evening. But once in a while, the stars align to shine a sparkling glow on that turd. Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra. I know the moral of that story doesn't apply here, but Chanel likes that episode.

*If you've never had it, Vietnamese iced coffee is equal parts espresso and sweetened condensed milk mixed together and poured over a glass of ice. This doubles the caffeine and sugar of regular coffee, thus increasing both the deliciousness and the laxativeness.  I realize that Vietnamesed iced coffee is not a thing- yet! I declare it shall be so from now on. It can also be used as a verb in the present tense: "I am Vietnamesing this coffee", and past participle "This coffee has been Vietnamesed."

*Fortunately no vrigin ears were raped by my wanton profanity, as my cry to the heavens was drowned out by the rythmic thumpings of Lady Gaga.

*I just did a google search for today's stardate and some weird generator thing presented me with that, so I'm using it because I'm not a complete loser who is actually going to thoroughly research whatever today's actual stardate would be. You get the idea though.